Memories of a Killer
by Outlaw1
Summary: Sesshomaru. Y'all know him. But what made him so bloodthirsty? This is a story about his childhood, the reason for his hatred towards humans, and about the death of the one he cared for most.FINISHED! ^_^
1. Cold Granite

The castle was huge. Far larger than he remembered it. Even his face held a trace of awe; his two companions were dumbstruck.  
  
"Wow…"Rin gasped. "This is all yours, Sesshomaru-sama?"  
  
"Hai." He said.  
  
"Well, of course, you dolt!" Jaken said, whacking Rin with his staff of heads. "Milord Sesshomaru-sama couldn't have any smaller." He smiled towards where Sesshomaru was standing, but his toothy grin met only air.  
  
"Sesshomaru-sama! Wait for Jaken! Sesshomaru-samaaa!"  
  
  
  
After Rin had been shown her quarters, and Jaken had been disposed somewhere in the giant castle, Sesshomaru slowly walked into a room that seemed the same any other. But it was a special place for him; it was the room of his late mother.  
  
Most thought that Sesshomaru's mother was wicked. Why else would he himself be so cruel? But that was not the case. He cursed himself often for tainting his mother's memory with the thought of her being evil. She had not been a kind and compassionate demon, of course not, but she was not a bloodthirsty demon like the one Sesshomaru himself had become. But, Sesshomaru had a reason to be this way. A reason unknown to many.  
  
As he entered the room, a very faint scent of his mother drifted into his nose. It was then that even he, the notorious Sesshomaru, could not hold his emotionless demeanor. A tear, the first one he had shed in many, many years, slid down his face, crossing slowly over the two crimson slashes before falling slowly to the granite floor. A floor that had been so cold…so cold….  
  
"No!" his mother had screamed, both in anguish and anger. "You…You said you loved me!"  
  
Sesshomaru had been young, at the age of 13 in human years. He was always following his mother; she was his best friend, his pal. She herself was a tomboy. A beautiful one, though, with fighting powers that even the strongest withered under. Together they played and hunted, just as any father would to his son. But Kagi Korosu, the king of the Western Lands, was too busy to play with his pup.  
  
That night Sesshomaru was hidden in a compartment he had made in one of the walls with his claws. He had also learned to control his breathing and movement in that it was almost impossible to sense him.  
  
"I do, Masuki…" A deep voice. His fathers.  
  
"Then what is she doing here? That mortal?" His mother's. She seemed to spit the word mortal out of her mouth when she said it.  
  
"She-It….it is just a bounty from a nearby village. She is a miko, and thus very important to her people. We can use her."  
  
"Well, it seems you've used her alright! It is a Law, Kagi! Not only is it embarrassing, it is UnLawful! It goes against the Inu-Ookami Rule!" Her voice quavered. It was obvious she was on the verge of crying.  
  
"Its not.."  
  
"It's not how it looks, right? That's what you always say. I have a better senses than any, Kagi. I can hear two heartbeats in that woman. And I can smell you on her. What about Sesshomaru?! He is the heir to the throne, your son, and you know it. You're avoiding him, I can tell. What are you afraid of?"  
  
"I am not afraid of a pup! And a meek one at that! All he does all day is follow you around. He will surely never be a fighter! Just a day ago he grew sick at the sight of a human execution! He said that 'there was too much blood' and that 'the human never did anything to me, why should I kill him'? Hmph, you have turned him into a pampered lapdog, Masuki!"  
  
"He is…my son Kagi.." She hissed," And no son of mine is a pet! I have not taught him how to be a housewife! I have taught him to fight, to hunt, all of what my father taught me. What you should be teaching. You are a disgrace, Kagi! A disgrace! I know that you are half of what Sesshomaru will be one day. And when the time comes, he will tear you from your throne. Then we'll see what you think about never spending any time with your son!"  
  
"SILENCE! I am the lord of this land and I will run it any way I please. My name is not Kagi! I am Kagi Korosu-sama, ruler of the greatest empire. And whom I chose to mate is my decision, and mine alone! You are just a pawn in my life! And that cub, that Sesshomaru thing," he hissed," It will never make it to the age that it may rule!"  
  
There was a horrifying roar, and the next moment the cry of the Western lord was heard as blood fell to the floor.  
  
"If that is all we are to you," she bellowed, her claws clicking and her eyes blood-red with battle rage,"If that is all-THEN DIE!"  
  
From where he was hiding, all Sesshomaru could see was his parent's feet, but he knew what was happening. His mother jumped at his father at an amasing speed, but he dodged it and slashed her back. Shards of her silver kimono flew and she flipped around in the air and dove for Kagi. She hit her mark then, using her poison claw attack on his neck.  
  
She's gonna win! Sesshomaru though happily. Though it was his father she was dueling, he felt nothing but disgust and betrayal from the man.  
  
But then there was a cry…a cry of a woman….and flash of silver hit the floor, staining the cold granite floor crimson…  
  
"Mother…MOTHER!" 


	2. Scalding Winds

AN: HAHAHAHAAHA! I got reviewies! If you've read anyof my other, um, works, u should know that reviews r the only way I'll write ^_^ ANYWAY, they were very kewl reviews *im so happpy* Okay, I'll shuddup and type ^^  
  
  
  
"MOMMMA!" Sesshomaru broke through the wooden box that he hid in.  
  
"S…Sesshom..maru.." She gasped, her eyes already glazing from the loss of blood. "Run…my child…."  
  
"NO!" The young child screamed, jumping at his father in rage.  
  
"Why? Why did you hurt Momma?!" He sobbed.  
  
"Get off of me, you sniveling coward!" He pried the clawing pup and threw him against the closest surface, a window. Sesshomaru crashed through the brilliantly colored glass and fell hundreds of stories to the mortal village below.  
  
"SESSHOM-MARU..!" the woman cried, her hand flying towards the shattered window, then falling towards the ground.  
  
"Why…." She choked, her last words issuing from her mouth and crystal tears falling towards the cold granite floor.  
  
* * * * * * *  
  
A second tears streamed down Sesshomaru's face and then his emotionless face returned.  
  
"This is no time for tears" he scolded himself. But then a cold breeze blew his silver hair and chilled his very bones. He turned and then once again his face fell and his eyes widened with sorrow. The window…His father had never fixed it, and there was still shards of red and green glass laying in the ground. The breeze continued. It was so cold.. . so sharp…  
  
"MOMMA!" he screamed, the freezing air seeming to tear his very soul away. He saw the face of his father looking out of the window, his cold golden eyes staring at him.  
  
"I'm…I'm not afraid of you!" Sesshomaru roared as the man moved back into the room.  
  
" I'll get vengeance..! Momma won't die in vaiinnnnn!" Then he hit the ground. It was a sickening thud, every bone in his small body seeming to break in the impact.  
  
"Momma.." He cried before his eyes seemed top be covered in a black veil.  
  
He awoke to the sound of talking. Humans.  
  
"You are that lord's son, correct? Sesshomaru? Heh, well that youkai…that bastard...He will pay for the death of our villagers with his only son!" The man kicked the broken body of the youkai pup hard in the ribs, breaking the last unbroken bone in the child chest. He then aimed at Sesshomaru's head, preparing for a death blow when a cry rang out.  
  
"Stop it! Stop it, Fugai-Nai! This cub has done nothing to you!" A young woman ran towards the man, her black hair swishing as she did.  
  
"Rinri! What are you doing here?? Get back inside! This is a Inu Youkai! There're dangerous!"  
  
"No, Uncle!" She threw her body over the quivering boy. "I'll take care of him, don't you worry! I won't let him. Please, Uncle!"  
  
"…Fine….It's not a dog, you know that??"  
  
"Yes…"  
  
Rinri lifted the child's body up and carried him to the giant house on the end of a path in the village. Villagers spat at the young girls feet, but she held her held up high.  
  
*  
  
When Sesshomaru awoke his entire body throbbed with pain. He cried out in pain and a soothing voice and a cool hand reached out to him.  
  
"Shh…Shh, its okay baby…Shh, I'm here…"  
  
"M…Momma?" Sesshomaru cried.  
  
"No…"the girl said" I… don't know where she is. I'm Rinri. You can call me Rin." She said happily.  
  
"R-rin…? Hi Rin.." He muttered before falling back into unconsciousness.  
  
For the next twenty years the 15-year-old girl brought the pup back to health and taught him reading, writing, and magic a kind Kitsune had taught her.  
  
But then one fateful day….  
  
"SESSHOMARU!"  
  
AN: Dum dum dum! Ok, review=more chapters! WHOOHO! Yeah, Tootles! (oh, and hope ya like my story so far ^_^) 


	3. Reforming Thoughts

AN: Okay! I got bored so here's another chapter. Just thought like saying this: Rinri actually means something: its not like I just made it up to sound like Rin's name! It means morals or humanism. I thought that Rinri probably was very kind to take care of Sesshomaru, so not only did the name work but it fit well w/her personality ^^ Oh, and me no own Inuyasha and/or any of its charas. Their Rumiko Takahasi-sama's! All hail the great and wondrous writer (BOO VIZ! BLAGGGA!)  
  
"SESSHOMAU! HELP!" A cry…a cry of a person close to Sesshomaru…almost as close to him as his mother was…  
  
"RIN!" Sesshomaru ran to the woman. They had both aged . Rinri was now at the age of 35 and Sesshomaru around the age of 9 (In demon years! In human he was around 27, methinks) .  
  
  
  
Two humans stood at the doorway to the giant house that Rinri lived in. They held sharp kantanas poised for attack on the petrified girl.  
  
"You have raised the demon that killed our family and master! The others have forgiven you; we have not! You shall pay sevenfold what the innocent paid!"  
  
They both swung at her at once. She cried as the steel sliced through the fine silk of her kimono and into the flesh below. She fell, the floor crimson as the blades. Then both men cried and Sesshomaru crushed them both with his claws.  
  
Sesshomaru then knelt down to the body of Rinri.  
  
"I am…so sorry…Rinri-sama…" His eyes filled with tears, "I…I will avenge you and Momma! I promise!" His last tear was shed, and he stood up, his face showing no emotion. He walked to the forests beyond after bearing the body of Rinri in a meadow where as a child she and he had played and where she had loved to pick the sun kissed blossoms. He carved her a tombstone out if limestone he found in a quarry nearby, and left, never wanting to return to the village until he was ready. Ready to kill his murderous father. But before he left he shed his last loving thoughts of humans. The humans had been the cause for the death of his mother, and the mortal Rinri had been killed by them. They killed one another and others, the humans, in a way. He also pledged never to love someone again; all of whom he loved were killed someway. He thought that that was just the Fates, and he knew that he could not change them.  
  
Unknown to him only a few miles away a child was born, his very own brother. But he heard a whimper, a cry, and from that he ran far into the forest, preparing to end the hanyou, its mother, and its fathers life forever. He felt that in that way he would be free, clean of the past.  
  
And oh how he was wrong.  
  
*  
  
  
  
Now, hundreds of years later Sesshomaru returned to the village. And in the meadow stood the tombstone, weathered through many years. It still faintly held the words iRinri-samai carved in the stone, but that was the only evidence of the town. He remembered what had happened. He remembered the screams. And laughter. Maniacal laughter of vengeance. His. 


	4. Insane Revenge

"RARRRGGG!" His claws hit the warriors, all their arrows sizzling at his poison touch.  
  
Soon the entire village was ablaze. The castle loomed ahead, as if challenging the crazed Sesshomaru. How he had trained for that day! He had given up his sanity for revenge; revenge that could bring his tortured mind to ease!  
  
With him Sesshomaru had brought a tribe of Hikigaeru (toad demons) from the forest he had made his home for the last thirty years. Their leader, a witty one by the name of Jaken was to accompany him, to help him and, though Jaken didn't know it, to punish someone of his troops failed.  
  
Sesshomaru left the Hikigaeru to deal with the few villagers still alive and quickly made his way to the village with even given Jaken his name.  
  
"Sir, please wait…sssir!"  
  
"Hahaha…that's my liddle Inuyasha!!! My, my aren't you a strong one? Hahahaha!" Kagi laughed, holding his hanyou son with his mortal wife Yowayowashi smiling at his side.  
  
"Oh, what a charming little family moment. It's a pity I never had one of those. Well, I've always been a little…selfish…" A cold voice sneered, full of hatred and betrayal.  
  
The Western lord leapt up in surprise, his young dog-eared son falling off of his lap in the way.  
  
"S-Sesshomaru?! But I killed you…!"  
  
"What, father, are you not happy to see your only son? But, oh, wait, it seems you are an active one. Seems that in my…absence… that you have had yet another pup. And, what is this? A human mate? My, father, you just love breaking the Fates Laws, don't you?"  
  
"What…What are you talking about? "  
  
"What? Is it not as it seems? But, my, Kagi Korosu-sama, it does appear as it is…" His expression turned form mockery to hate. "And is this human, this thing, just another pawn? And this mongrel son? Or do you actually think that tha dog-eared mutt could take my place and rule? Ahh, but look outside, father dearest. What is left to rule? For, you see, I am going to tear you from your crown. And I was going to do it quickly, as mother advised, but now I'm going to do it slowly…"  
  
"You?" Kagi scoffed suddenly, seeming to recover his bravery," The weak pup that cringed at blood? You are just as your mother was—a useless body, a waste of food and air!"  
  
"Y-you…" Sesshomaru growled, his cold demeanor giving way to unspeakable hatred and anger "You….you will regret that!" Sesshomaru lunged forward, and Kagi covered himself and his son from harm. But he forgot one…  
  
"KAGGI!" Those were the last words muttered from Yowayowashi as she fell to Sesshomaru's claws.  
  
"Yowayowashi!"  
  
"MOMMAAA!" Sesshomaru froze. "MOMMA!!!!" He looked down at his bloodied hands. "M-MOOMMMAA!" Inuyasha sobbed at his mothers body. And, for a moment, the mortal looked like his youkai mother…  
  
"MOMMA! WHY DID YOU HURT HER? WHY?" Inuyasha cried.  
  
"S-Shut up!" Sesshomaru screamed. " I…she…"  
  
"Remembering your mother, Sesshomaru?" A cruel voice hissed close to his ear. "She died like this, didn't she? Ah, and how you cried as her blood spilled on the floor."  
  
"SHUT UP!" Sesshomaru roared in rage. He sliced backwards towards the grinning youkai lord, and the man died with the grin on his face.  
  
"Poppa? P-poppa?" Inuyasha cried again. Sesshomaru turned and for a moment his face held pity.  
  
" I am sorry, hanyou. But I suppose that we will suffer the same fates…" With that he left, Jaken picking up a sword as he did (the Tensiega) , thinking it was the more powerful one.  
  
"Tessthomaru…?" Inuyasha said, struggling with the large word. "Tessthomaru?"  
  
  
  
"Sesshomaru?" A voice called out. "Sesshomaru, what are you doing out here? Its so cold, an'…Sesshomaru?"  
  
"Hello, Rin."  
  
  
  
AN: r/r!!!!!! 


	5. Healing Dreams

" Sesshomaru-sama, what are you doing?" Rin said again, surprised to see her mentor in the deserted human village.  
  
"This," Sesshomaru said, pointing to the castle and around the village area." This was my home…a long time ago…"  
  
"Wow! Here? It so pretty! But…it looks like a human village, Sesshomaru- sama…" Rin asked, gazing at the beautiful scenery.  
  
Then she saw the name engraved on the stone.  
  
"Oh! This is great-grandmother Rinri's grave! I remember Mommy talking about her!"  
  
"What…?"  
  
"Yeah, she was a miko's daughter and she…" Rin stopped midsentence, seeing the emotion on his face. Disbelief and…Sorrow?  
  
"And she raised a youkai…Sesshomaru…. Was that you?"  
  
"N-No…of course not…" Sesshomaru said quickly, almost as if he was embarrassed.  
  
"Aww…Sesshomaru, ya don't haveta be embarrassed ya, know!" Rin said, hopping up in front of her lord's face, a toothy grin plastered on her face.  
  
"I'm…I'm not embarrassed…" He said, turning away from Rin.  
  
"Wow, he's acting different." Rin thought.  
  
"I'm fine." Sesshomaru said, as though reading the girl's mind. "But it looks like its going to rain. Lets go back to the castle, Rin."  
  
"Okay, Sesshomaru-sama!" She started skipping happily towards the castle. Sesshomaru turned and followed after Rin. But before he left he placed a single bronze flower on Rinri's grave. A single drop of water fell on the yellow petal. Soon it was pouring, yet Sesshomaru stood near the grave, before he turned away, slowly walking towards his home.  
  
*  
  
That night Sesshomaru had a dream. But, no, it wasn't the nightmare that tortured his mind every year marking the day of Sesshomaru's mother's death. Instead his mother and Rinri stood in the meadow of flowers. They were nit crying, not screaming, not begging for their lives, but smiling. Smiling…? He was there, too, as a young pup, clutching to both of the women's hands. Then another him was there, as he looked now. The trio disappeared, and in their stead Rin stood smiling, holding a bunch of the amber flowers in her arms.  
  
And then… his mother was standing behind him.  
  
"Do not stop your feelings, my child. This child need your care, and you need her sanity. Do not be frightened by the past, only the present…" Then she faded, and Sesshomaru awoke. The sun had not yet rose, yet the sky was splashed with lighter colors.  
  
Sesshomaru walked to the room that had been his mothers. He found a straw broom and began to sweep away the broken glass and bits of his own broken soul. He then went into the storage room and brought back a glass to fit over the cracked hole and in a way healed his own broken heart. The glass had a picture of a icy blue rose that seemed so fragile yet strong at the same. It was highly detailed, and it seemed as if there truly was a frozen rose.  
  
He approved his handiwork and walked out of the room, letting the blue light wash over the room that had once been washed in crimson. In a way, he felt as if he had been recovered, as if he had saved his soul from the torture of his life.  
  
Hours later Rin was wandering in the castle when she found the room Sesshomaru had renovated.  
  
"Wow…" She gasped, staring into the beautiful stained glass window. She sat in a intricately carved chair, one worn with age. Bathed in the blue light, she stared at the room, full of marvelous tapestries and silken kimonos. Checking to see if nobody was around, Rin slipped on a silver kimono with cerulean roses and a golden chain she found in a drawer. She then put her hair up the way she had seen female youaki do, and posed in front of the iced mirror.  
  
"Beautiful!" She crooned, admiriring herself.  
  
Sesshomaru walked through the halls, looking through his vast home when he smelled Rin's scent. He followed it, curios of what the girl was doing this far into the castle dormitories. When he entered the room he saw…his mother? A woman with silver hair pulled up in his mother's style, wearing her favorite silver kimono and her golden necklace. But something…something was different.  
  
"Oh, Sesshomaru-sama! This room is so beautiful! And this kimono is sooo gorgeous! And this necklace must be very expensive!"  
  
"It is…was…my mothers, I believe." Sesshomaru said, surprise on Rin's sudden…beauty still on his face.  
  
"Oh!" Rin said, suddenly embarrassed fro wearing a dead woman's clothes.  
  
"But I'm sure she would allow you to have them if she was here…..You like this room?"  
  
"Oh, yes! Its so nice!"  
  
"Then it is yours."  
  
"Oh…thank you Sesshomaru-sama!" Rin squealed, running and jumping into the surprised Sesshomaru's arms.  
  
"You're……You're welcome…" 


End file.
